


Exes and Os

by UchihaEnchanter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Depression, Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, Keith/Thace (For one chapter), M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Recreational Drug Use, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2020-08-23 22:04:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchihaEnchanter/pseuds/UchihaEnchanter
Summary: Keith and Lance were high school sweethearts. They were doing great until Keith's drug addiction got to be too much. Two years later they reconnect but Lance has already moved on. What with Keith do with his lingering feelings? And will he be able to stay sober through the heartache?





	1. Paladin's Diner

"Look, it's just not going to work out."Lance's voice echoed in his mind his body tossing as he tried not to hear it again. "You care more about the pills than me Keith, getting high is the top of your list and i've settled somewhere at the bottom. I'm worth more than that...you're worth more than that. I just can't...I can't watch you kill yourself. I won't."   
Keith shot up out of bed his heart pounding the words of the nightmare, the memory, swirling around in his head.. He sighed and hung his head in his hands, it had been two years since lance had said that to him. Two years since he almost died and two years since he went to Shiro and begged him to check him into rehab.   
Now Keith was doing better, he had a steady job at a mechanics shop and he hadn't touched pills since he'd gone through the rehab program. His life was slowly knitting itself back together. He still wasn't over Lance though and part of him doubted he ever would be. The nightmares had shifted almost entirely to losing him and Keith just wasn't sure how he was supposed to get rid of them. He wasn't sure if he wanted to since it was the only way he got to see him anymore. . He sighed, got up and gathered some clothes for a shower his mind wandering as he went. He and lance had been best friends since they were kids. Keith had always known he was gay but when Lance had come out as being bi they'd ended up kissing. Keith paused, remembering it fondly even now, it was his first kiss after all. It had been freshman year, they were in the gym tucked behind the bleachers away from the rest of their P.E. class. 

"Lance...I need to tell you something and I need you to promise me that you won't laugh and you won't get all weird on me either." Keith was curled in on himself settled against the wall and watching his best friend from over his knees.   
"Keith, buddy, i'm your best friend. You can tell me literally anything, We've been friends since we were kids." He scooted around so that he was sitting next to Keith and he started playing with the sleeve of his shirt while he waited for Keith to talk. 

"Lance, I think i'm gay." Keith stayed staring over his knees, his heart pounding. It was the first time saying it out loud and even though they were safely tucked away behind a set of bleachers in an echoing gymnasium he flinched as if someone other than lance could hear him. 

After a short silence Lance piped up again. "You know i'm bi right? Like...I like girls and guys." 

"Really? Why didn't you ever tell me?" Keith furrowed his eyebrows and finally looked up into Lance's face. His friend was smiling, and he was a little red. 

"I never told you cause, There's only really one guy I've ever liked. Obviously I've had my share of girlfriends but I guess I never worried about saying anything until I got up the courage to ask this guy out." Lance picked at the edge of his shirt some more, pulling out threads and twisting them in his fingers. 

"So you like guys AND you have a crush on someone and you didn't tell me! What the hell Lance? Do you even trust me at all because I..." Keith stopped, warmth spreading rapidly across his face. Lance was kissing him. 

Keith felt himself tense, just a soft press of lips as Lance tested the waters. Lance started to pull away but Keith pulled him closer pressing their lips together again. He let a hand slid up around the back of Lance's neck and carefully opened his mouth not quite sure how this was supposed to work. Luckily Lance took over and gently licked into his mouth letting out a soft noise. They kissed for another few moments before they pulled apart, smiling. 

"So, who's this guy you like?" Keith laughed as Lance shoved him over. 

"You know damn well who." Lance grabbed Keith's hand and pulled it to his lips kissing the back of it. "Hopefully, he'll agree to be my boyfriend." 

"You serious?" Keith stopped laughing and stared at him. "You sure you want to do that? It'll be social sabotage." 

"I'm sure, if you want to that is." Lance gripped his hand again and watched Keith's face with a hopeful expression. 

"Yes....Yes I want to." Keith grinned and tightened his grip. 

"It's settled then." Lance chuckled and kissed him again, briefly this time. "My boyfriend." 

They had been together ever since, all through high school and then some, all until Keith had fucked it up. 

Keith got himself showered and had started cooking breakfast when Shiro wandered sleepily out into the house. "You're up early." He sighed sitting at the table. Keith set a cup of coffee in front of him and shrugged. Shiro took the cup gratefully but looked at Keith skeptically. "You have another nightmare?" 

"Is it really a nightmare if it actually happened?" Keith frowned at him as he plated their bacon and eggs. "It's not a big deal Shiro, i'm fine." 

"Keith, do you want me to reach out to him for you? At least get you some closure?" Shiro watched him carefully, tip toeing around like he was a pane of glass. Keith would yell at him for it if it wasn't so close to the truth. 

"No Shiro, leave lance alone." Keith hung his head over his food as he sat at the table shoving his brothers toward him. "He's already been through enough because of me,he doesn't need us prodding into his life again." 

"Yeah, you;'re probably right...only he contacted me first so, i guess i'm not really prodding.." Shiro shoved a bite into his mouth waiting for Keith to respond.. 

"What did he say?": Keith asked cautiously. His food was haphazardly shoved around his plate. 

"He asked how you were doing and I told him you were doing well, almost two years clean. He wants to talk to you again, be friends, but he's not sure if you want to talk to him." 

"What? Of course I want to talk to him, he's my best friend." Keith blurted out, shocking himself and making Shiro smile. "Even if he's moved on, he's still my best friend." 

"I told him I'd ask and he gave me his number, you can shoot him a text." Shiro handed over a sticky note from his desk with a number and Lance scrawled across the top. 

"He really wants to talk to me?" Keith seemed hesitant. 

"Keith, this boy used to be in love with you, he doesn't hate you, he wants to talk to you." Shiro reached over and typed the number into Keith's phone. "Text him.." 

Keith sighed and stared at the unsent text.  
Hey, it's Keith, Shiro said you wanted to talk?

He had read and re-read that text a million times but it seemed like that was the best course of action. he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and hit send. A few agonizing minutes later his phone dinged and Keith scrambled to open the reply. 

Yeah hey, Shiro said you're doing better now. No more pills?  
Sorry, that was kinda rude.   
I just want to be friends again man  
I miss you.   
Like as a friend  
I have a girlfriend now.   
Damn sorry, Im typing without thinking again. 

Keith chuckled and a genuine smile hit his face for the first time in years. 

Yeah, being friends again would be nice Sharpshooter. Keith hoped that the old nickname would ease some of Lance's tension. He wasn't going to say he wasn't jealous of whoever this girlfriend was but, he wasn't going to ruin lance's life any more than he already had.. 

Wow, haven't heard that one in a while, i' m really glad you're doing alright man. I was really worried about you.

Thanks, i'm glad you're doing well too.  
Wanna meet up sometime this week? 

Keith waited anxiously his thumbnail cracking between his teeth as he waited for a reply. 

Yeah, you free Friday? 

Keith frowned he had work Friday, most of the day. and that evening was his weekly rehab meeting. 

Actually i'm busy Friday, I have work and that evening I have my rehab check in. 

Keith waited for another text but it was another hour before he got a reply. 

You free today? Allura said i can skip out on lunch if you want to meet up.

Allura, that must be the girlfriend.. Keith sighed, only a little disheartened. 

Sure, when and where? 

Seconds later the reply. 

Paladin's Diner, 1:00? 

See you then Lance. 

At one Keith pulled his motorcycle into Paladins diner and took a second to check his hair in the store window before striding inside. Lance was already there tucked into a booth where he was talking excitedly with a tall, broad man. Upon further inspection Keith realized it was Hunk, a friend of theirs from school. He walked over and gave a small smirk of a smile when the two excitedly greeted him. 

"Hey keith! Long time no see!" Hunk pulled him into a one armed hug and clapped him on the shoulder. "Good to see you, gimme a second and i'll have a waitress over to get your order, i'll cook it to perfection." He wandered off to the back and Keith sheepishly took a seat across from his ex.. Lance looked, stunning, as always.. His hair was neat and styled, he was wearing jeans that keith was sure fit him like a glove, a white t shirt and a blue button down. over it. the button down was open and sleeves rolled up, a clear lance style. 

"So uh, Hey." Lance smiled shyly. "Wanna order some food? My treat." Keith nodded slowly and Lance handed him a menu before looking down to one of his own. "Shiro said you've been doing well." 

Keith looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, i've uh....I quit everything, even weed cause they used to test me for it."

"Well, that part sucks," Lance chuckled warmly. "Even I smoke some times."

"Yeah well, it's probably better if I stay away from it still." Keith sighed as a pretty blonde girl came to take their order. 

"Hi, i'm Romelle and i'll be your waitress today, what can I get for you?" She had bubbly pink makeup and an attitude to match. 

Lance started ordering and Keith found himself lost in the tone of his voice. The inflections of happiness and the soft rumbling tone that he hadn't acquired till their senior year of high school. He was so lost in the sound that he didn't even notice that it was his turn. 

"Oh uh....burger and fries, no tomato." He mumbled out. 

"What to drink with that?" 

"A coke." Lance answered automatically and Keith looked at him stunned for a moment before nodding and Romelle wandered off to put in their order. 

"You remembered." Keith muttered 

"Keith....it's only been a couple years....I still know you." Lance smiled at him a smile that's haunted Keith's dreams for months. 

"Right....sorry this is just....weird." Keith sighed "I'm not going to pretend here lance. I...I still have a lot of feelings for you. I know you've moved on, you've had to. I just....haven't yet."

Lance bit at his lip nervously pausing to accept their drinks from the bubbily Romelle. He twisted his glass in his hands, formulating a reply. 

"I still care about you Keith. Before we dated you were my best friend. You were a huge part of my life for a long time and I want to have some sort of relationship with you. I understand if it's hard to adjust to being just friends with me though. I'll help you with that however I can." 

"It's not really something you can help with Lance....You just....bear with me. If i say something or do something over the line say something. Don't just.....don't let me get my hopes up okay?" Keith chuckled a little, dryly. "Let me adjust to just being friends again. 

Their food arrived and they paused the conversation long enough to start eating. 

"So, what have you been up to outside of rehab?" Lance smiled through his food and Keith chuckled a little. 

"Um...I don't know really, I've been drawing again I guess." He shrugged "But I'm still really out of practice so nothing looks good." 

"I'm sure it looks better than what you think it does." Lance assured him. "You're always your worst critic." 

The rest of the conversation went on and soon they were chatting back and forth without so much awkwardness. Lance paid for the food and the two of them stepped outside together. 

"So, this was good, we should hang out again soon." Lance shoved his hands in his pockets nervously. 

"Yeah, for sure." Keith forced a smile. "Well I uh....better get back. If I'm not home soon Shiro will send out the national guard." 

"Right," Lance laughed "feel free to text me, or call if you ever need to or want to." 

"Yeah, I will" Keith broke his forced smile and threw a wave over his shoulder as he climbed into his bike. "See ya Lance."


	2. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter there is some sex between Thace and Keith, It doesn't go into too much detail but if that's not your cup of tea feel free to skip over that part. 
> 
> Also, all my stuff is unbetad and unedited. If you'd like to be a beta reader for me just leave a comment.

"Hey Sweetheart, how'd the lunch go?" Allura smiled as Lance came back into their apartment.   
"It went good, I think." Lance plopped down onto the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kissing her cheek. "He's definitely doing better like Shiro said."   
"Well that's good at least. I know you were really worried about him." She leaned into her boyfriend tucking her head up underneath his chin..   
"I really missed him.....Seeing him again now was....."   
"You love him Lance. The circumstances make it to where it's hard for you and it's not healthy for you but...you still care about him." She smiled gently still pressed close to him.   
"Allura..." Lance bit at his lip nervously   
"I know you love me as well, you have a big heart, there's room for more than one in there. Besides, I know that you're devoted to me, you love me and i'm not worried. Even if you spend some more time together now. It comes from a place of love and i'm secure enough in our relationship to let you have that." She kissed his cheek again and stood. "I need to answer some emails in my office but after that do you want to sit and watch a movie with me before dinner?"   
"Yeah that sounds great babe, count me in." Lance relaxed into the couch and smiled to himself as he threw something on the tv. This was fine, he could talk to Keith, and be friends with him again without hurting his relationship with Allura, he'd be fine. 

ONE MONTH LATER

Keith stared at the texts on his phone, he'd barely spoken to anyone other than Lance and they'd hung out several times together since the first time. Lance was often the one initiating and the whole thing was making it harder to keep everything strictly platonic.  
"I can't do this anymore Shiro..." Keith whined into his pillow.   
"Yes you can, you're stronger than this Keith." He sighed and sat down next to him on the bed. "You were friends with him for years before you started dating."   
"Yeah but we were kids....that was different." Keith groaned "I can't even talk to him without thinking about what we had before i fucked it all up. Or just thinking about him in general, god he's still hot as fuck."   
"Maybe you just need to get laid." Shiro chuckled at the indignant scoff he received in answer. "I'm serious Keith, find someone to let off some steam, and old friend, a one night stand...something."   
"How do you think that's going to help?" Keith grumbled "I"m still going to have these feelings, and i'm still going to think he's sexy."   
"Yeah but maybe you won't be quite as desperate." Shiro chuckled   
"I'll think about it...." Keith sighed into his pillow again. Shiro nodded to himself and slid out of Keith's room again leaving the door open. Keith laid there for a while longer before scrolling through his contact list. Did he even have anyone he could call for something like that? And even if he did could he guarantee that they wouldn't try to get him high first? Most of his so called friends were ruled out then. He was about to give up when he scrolled across a name that peaked his interests.   
"Yeah....that might work." Keith smiled to himself and started punching out a text. 

'hey, you available?'

He waited patiently knowing that he didn't know his friends schedule anymore so he could be doing anything right now. 

'yeah sure, whatcha need Keith?' 

Another cracked smile and his fingers were flying, he wasn't sure if he would be up to this or not. 

'I was wondering if you might be willing to engage in an arrangement with me. Like a friends with benefits type thing.' 

A pause, almost too long of a pause. 

'Wouldn't you rather have someone closer to your own age?'

'You're not that old Thace' 

'Alright fine, where and when?' 

'Shiro leaves for work in an hour, my place, or well, Shiro's place.' 

'Alright, i'll be there.' 

Keith grinned to himself, that had been easier than he thought and it should help him to forget about lance for a while. 

The hour passed and Shiro left for work, dutifully telling him to be safe and use protection if he did get laid. And ten minutes or so after his car had left a sleek black motorcycle pulled into the spot.

Keith excitedly lept to the door and leaned against the doorframe after opening it. Thace tossed his motorcycle helmet into the cubby and turned to face Keith at the doorway with a smile. 

Thace was older, but not old. Somewhere in his early thirties just a few days older than Shiro. He had long hair that he kept in a braid and he had a broad build to him with wide shoulders and hips. As different from Lance as you could get. 

"Hey Keith," He approached cautiously and Keith happily gestured for him to make his way inside. Once Thace had crossed the threshold and Keith had closed the door. He spoke again. "So, what brought this on exactly?" His voice was gentle, curious, not judgemental. 

"Shiro says I need to get laid... so I can stop pining after my ex" Keith crossed his arms over his chest with a frown. 

"Ah, I see, well...maybe I can help with that then?" His voice pitched higher, hopeful. 

"That's kind of the point here Thace." Keith chuckled and offered his hand to the older man. "Come back to my room with me?" 

"Yeah, yeah sure." Thace let Keith pull him back to his bedroom and even further up onto his bed. Thace sat near the foot nervously and jumped a little when Keith slid into his lap. 

"You sure you're up to this old man?" He chuckled as his arms looped over his shoulders. 

"Yeah I'm sure just...nervous, I guess." He let his hands find places on Keith's hips and dug his fingers in a little. "Should we start with a kiss or something?" 

Keith nodded and shifted a little in his lap before leaning down and pressing his forehead to that of his friends. "Go for it." 

Thace tipped his head up and into Keith's space his lips brushing Keith's for a moment before he goes all in and kisses him hard, his mouth opening just enough to pull keith's bottom lip in. 

A small moan slips between them and Keith tightens his grip nails digging into the fabric of Thace's shirt. 

Thace pulls Keith a little closer, their groins grinding together before he pulls them down to lay on the bed. Keith slides up to the middle pulling Thace back down to him to continue the kiss. The older man groaned and ground against his new playmate again before starting to pull at his clothes. 

"There we go." Keith grinned as his shirt was tossed somewhere across the room. "Now you're getting the hang of things." He laughed as Thace ground against him again in retaliation and his mouth started to travel across his skin. "No marks babe." He groaned as Thace's teeth dug into his shoulder. the pressure let up before a mark was formed and the talented set of lips and teeth worked their way downward across his collarbones and teasing a nipple. 

Keith gasped and arched up his hands coming up to tangle in Thace's braid. His moans seemed to echo off his bedroom walls as Thace worked his way lower and lower eventually stripping him the rest of the way and getting his own clothes off as well. Keith tried to keep his mind in the moment. He really did but instead of focusing on how good it felt or anything sensible his brain was instead comparing it to Lance. How different it was with him. How Lance would do this part differently or how Lance would have said this or that about a reaction. 

By the time it was over Keith had completely lost it and called out Lances name when he came instead of his friends. 

Keith realizing what had happened looked up at Thace sheepishly. "S-sorry about that I just..." 

"It's okay kid...I knew what I was getting into here, you warned me." Thace sighed and ran a hand over his hair. "Maybe sex isn't what you need though, as good as it was. Maybe you should talk through your feelings with him? Not to pressure him or anything but just to see what the best course of action would be." 

Keith sighed and reached over to his nightstand, he grabbed some wet wipes out of the drawer and handed some to Thace so he could start cleaning up. He started working on himself before he spoke again. 

"I told him already, that i'm not over him. I told him on day one. He just wants to be friends again, but i'm not sure if I can do that." 

"Keith, maybe you need to distance yourself for a bit. I know he's had a long time to move on but you've been just a little preoccupied. You haven't had a chance to come to terms with your breakup with him yet and honestly you need to." 

"Yeah I know...maybe i'll talk to him about it again." Keith slipped into a pair of sweatpants not bothering with underwear as Thace got dressed again. 

"Just think about it okay?" Thace stepped across the room, bed abandoned now and left a kiss on the top of Keith's hair. "If you want to do this again i'm not going to say no but, maybe think about it a little more first." 

"yeah, thanks Thace." Keith sighed "I'll call you, or text you...not for the sex part just...to talk ya know." 

Thace chuckled "Yeah okay Keith, i'll see ya around." 

"Bye," Thace left the room closing the door behind him and a few moments later Keith heard the tell tale sound of the front door shutting as well. He really needed to talk to lance.


	3. Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets a new boyfriend and Lance and Allura get some bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for my extended absence, I'm dealing with a ton of the real life stuff atm, including trying to buy my own home. So yeah, still working on this though, not beta read, if you want to in the future hit me up.

Time passed and Keith didn't meet up with Thace again, at least not for sex. He tried, desperately to just...live his life. He saw Lance, not super often, but often enough. He seemed to be happy with Allura and at this point Keith had even met her a couple of times. 

The girl was sweet, and as much as Keith wanted to hate her he could see the love in her eyes as she looked at Lance. It made him feel a little better about trying to move on. 

Keith had taken to spending more time at the bar, he didn't drink but he people watched and listened to the bad karaoke. It was someplace where he could think of he wanted to and if he didn't there were plenty of things to distract him. 

One of those things happened to be the bartender and an old classmate of theirs, James. Hed honestly been a little bit of a bully in high school but Keith was willing to overlook that. In fact he almost teased him about it. 

Keith took his usual seat all the way at the end of the right side of the bar. He ordered a soda and settled in for the night. 

"Hey, fancy seeing you here." James smiled at him and then whispered something to the other bartender and she wandered off to the other side of the bar. 

"I see you here all the time James, that's the worst line ever." Keith chuckled and fiddled with his glass. 

"You don't ever drink so you must be here for something else. Must be the company." He flashed Keith a cocky grin that really shouldn't have been that attractive. 

"Maybe...as long as the company isn't talking." 

"Ouch, low blow kogane, low blow." 

Oh I can show you a low blow. Keith chuckled to himself and laughed again at the confused look on James face. 

" Sorry, your flirting is just so bad I'm not sure if it's endearing or offensive." James laughed and leaned on his side of the bar so he was closer to Keith. 

"Okay fine, how about this one. Are you single?" 

"Yes." Keith watched his face carefully a small smile still on his face. 

"You wanna go on a date or something? Or even just hang out? I'd really like to spend so.e time with you when I'm not working." 

"Hummm...." Keith pretended to think on it...."what if I don't like you outside of the bar?" He chuckled "or what if you're a horrible kisser? I don't want to get invested only for you to be a bad kisser." 

"You asking for a test drive?" James's eyebrows rose up into his hairline. "Ballsy Keith. Lucky for you I haven't taken my 30 yet." 

"Really?" Keith arched a skeptical brow. "You taking it now?" 

"Hey Shay! I'm taking my break okay?" He called out his eyes not leaving Keith. 

"Yeah okay! " She waved him off and James whipped around the bar grabbing Keith's hand to help him down off the stool. Keith let him hold his hand as they walked out to the parking lot and Keith stopped him by his bike leaning against it. 

"Can't take you too far, you'll have to go back eventually." 

"Yeah, I will, can I really kiss you? Or was it just playful banter?" James tried to hide his eagerness but somewhat failed. 

"Yeah you can kiss me." Keith smiled, his eagerness was cute and let James close the distance between them. His fingers slid up to the back of Keith's neck and his lips pressed at first but then got bolder as Keith let it continue. 

Keith pulled James a little closer by the front of his shirt opening his mouth and swiping his tounge across his slightly parted lips. The gasp in response was more than worth the effort. 

They let the kisses continue James pressing Keith against his bike and eventually sacrificing his lips to slide down across Keith's cheek and then down his neck receiving pleased hums as he kissed and nipped at his skin. He was careful of any marks just in case, not like he didn't want to though. 

"Mmmh...Keith." James nipped at his ear and he outright moaned. "I have to head back in soon. Can we put this on pause." 

"Mmmhum yeah..." Keith sighed and looked up at him with a blissed out grin. 

"So when are you taking me on that date?" 

"How's Friday?" James twined their fingers together as they talked, happy that Keith allowed it. 

"Fridays fine, 6:00?"

"Yeah, I'll pick you up at six. Here text me your address." They exchanged numbers and by the time that was done it was time for James to get back to work. 

"You coming back in or headed out?' 

"I should probably head home, don't wanna distract you." He chuckled 

"Im used to you distracting me at this point." He laughed "Pretty expected when I've wanted to kiss you like that since high school." 

"Really? That long?" Keith was a little shocked at the new information. 

"Yeah but...you werent single so I kinda...put those feelings on the back burner." He looked guilty for mentioning it. He went to high school with them so he had probably heard about the break up at some point. 

"Yeah well, now you've got a chance loverboy...don't blow it." Keith mounted his bike starting her up and was about to put a helmet on his head when James stepped close again and stole a kiss. 

"I'll see you Friday, okay?" James smiled and backed up towards the bar again. 

Keith put on his helmet and revved it up taking off and hoping James got something out of watching him drive away. 

Keith frowned at his phone, it was Thursday, his date with James was tomorrow and he had, of course, gotten a text from lance. 

You wanna hang out tomorrow? Allura has a doctor's appointment and a date with her dad so I'm free all day. 

Here's where things get complicated. He really, really wanted to go on this date. And he's kinda been hoping for a long night, however that went. But he also, really wanted to see Lance. He sighed and tossed his phone aside. 

He was supposed to be getting over Lance right? 

Before he could think about it anymore he texted Lance back. 

Sorry, I have work in the morning and i have a date tomorrow night. 

oh! A date!? With who? 

Keith chuckled a little to himself. 

You're not gonna like that answer, i can tell you that right now. lol 

Why? Who is it? Do i know them? 

Keith laughed to himself again rolling over onto his stomach on the bed. 

You do. 

Well who is it!? SPILL KEITH. 

James

James...James Griffin? 

Yeah. He asked me out and I said yes. 

Keith waited for a reply but one didn't come. He knew Lance wouldn't be happy about it but was he really that upset? Maybe there was something else going on that stole his attention. Convinced that Lance would text back later Keith started getting himself ready for bed. 

The next day Keith got dressed and made his way to his job at a hole in the wall retro game store. I was called Blades and He got paid decently being one of very few employees. He clocked in and set up his register before going around and seeing if anything needed to be stocked or adjusted. After another hour or so his phone buzzed and he pulled it out wondering if Lance had finally messaged him back. 

Hey, really looking forward to seeing you tonight. Kinda can't contain my excitement. Kincade is about to throttle me into a wall. 

Keith laughed, louder than he intended but he was alone so it wasn't like he could be embarrassed about it. 

Excited to see you tonight too James, where are we going anyway? 

It's a secret...but you'll love it, I promise. 

If you say so. lol 

Keith put his phone away and got back to work. Eventually the owner Kollivan arrived and sent Keith home early since it was slow. He got home to a note from Shiro saying that he'd be out most of the evening and wouldn't be back till after dinner. Keith had forgotten to tell him about his own plans for the night so he shot him a text as he gathered up underwear and a towel for a shower. 

Don't worry about trying to rush home tonight, I'll be out, I have a date. 

A date? With who?

Do you remember James Griffin?

Yeah, good kid after he stopped bullying. Is that who you're going out with? 

Yeah, we reconnected at a bar, don't worry I didn't drink. He asked and I said yes. 

That's great! Happy that you're getting back out there. Text me if you end up not coming home tonight. : ) 

Shut it Shiro, it probably won't even come to that. 

That boys liked you since high school i'd be more surprised if it didn't. 

Keith scoffed and turned the water on for his shower choosing to Ignore Shiro for now. If it came to it would he want to sleep with James tonight? The idea wasn't a bad one per se. Maybe, if that's something James wanted anyway. 

Keith watched out the window nervously. James still hadn't told him where they were going only to dress casual and comfortable. Keith was in a pair of Jeans that he knew made his ass look good and a long sleeved t shirt. His phone had been pretty silent all day, just the texts from James and Shiro earlier, still nothing from Lance. 

A car horn startled him from his thoughts as James stopped in front of the house. Keith went out to meet him climbing into the passenger seat with a small smile the only thing betraying his excitement. 

"hey there," James grinned "You look....really good honestly." 

"Thanks uh...you ready to tell me where we're going now?" He buckled himself in and James started driving. 

"Actually we're going to my apartment. Not for sex, if you were worried about that. I mean...i wouldn't be opposed to that if things go well but...uh,.. what i mean is i cooked dinner and um...I thought you'd be more comfortable in a setting with just us than around a bunch of people or out to something." 

"You put a lot of thought into this didn't you?" Keith let his smile widen just a little. James was actually, really thoughtful, and sweet. 

"I did, I have a chance so I really don't wanna fuck this up." He kept his eyes on the road with a blush to his cheeks but soon enough they were pulling into his apartment complex. James got out and came around to Keith's side as he got out and offered his hand. "ready? I've put a lot of work into this so you'd better appreciate it." 

Keith took his hand and laced their fingers together. "I already do James, stop worrying and take me inside." 

"Right, uh...this way." He took Keith up a set of stairs and into apartment 324. As soon as they stepped inside Keith was greeted by the smell of food. It was something with bacon and chicken that much he could tell. The table was set for two to the left and to the right hand side of the main space the living room had been turned into a pillow fort. 

James had pulled his fold out couch out and into a bed stuffed it with cushions and pillows and covered it and the tv in a tent like structure made of sheets. the inside had more blankets and a few bowls of still closed snacks and netflix up on the television. Fairy lights wound around the space making it look whimsical and Keith found himself completely overwhelmed. It was beautiful, incredibly sweet and wow, james really did like him huh. 

"James this is...it's beautiful, thank you." Keith smiled and gave him a small kiss on the lips before heading over to sit at the table. "Dinner first right?" 

Lance paced in the waiting room. After a phone call from Allura's dad he'd been waiting for over an hour to find out what the hell was going on. No one was answering his texts. 

"Mr. McClain?" A nurse came around the corner and Lance snapped his head up and walked over to follow her through the winding hallways to Allura's room. The nurse let him in and then stepped out leaving Lance alone in the room with his girlfriend in a hospital bed and he worried and sad looking father sitting next to her. 

Something was wrong, horribly wrong and he could see it coming on their faces even though he didn't know exactly what was going on yet. 

"Hey lance..." Allura smiled at him, trying to put him at ease as she beckoned him to her. He stepped forward and sat next to her on her bed watching her face. "Daddy, could you give us a few moments alone?" 

"Of course princess, i'll go grab something to eat I think." Alfor stood and gave Lance a pat on the shoulder as he left them. 

"What's going on Allura? I thought you just had a routine checkup today and now you're admitted?" 

"Lance, do you remember what I told you about my mother?" She picked up his hand, holding it in her lap. 

"She passed from cancer." 

"Right, a very sudden and deadly kind of cancer." 

"Pancreatic cancer right?" 

"Right, one of the things with Pancreatic cancer is...it's more likely for you to get it if, you had a parent with it." Lance stared at her his head already shaking no before she could even get to the point. "Lance, sweetheart, i'm so sorry...I..." Her perfect face broke a little as she tried to hold back the tears. "I have it. I've had it before and it went into remission. We thought...but it's already spread too far they can't.....there's nothing that we can do now." Her voice broke and the tears started down her face. 

"You're dying..." Lance choked out, he was sobbing, when had he started even crying. 

"Yes, my dear sweet love, i'm dying." She pulled him in close holding him while she shook and cried. "I only have a few more months...i'll be....before new years most likely." 

"Stop....just stop talking about it I don't want to...." 

"Lance, sweetheart I know." She held him close and let him cry. No one bothered them. 

Keith was happily curled up next to James, his head on his shoulder as they watched some Netflix original from their nest. It was nice and warm under here and James' fingers brushing along his arm felt electric with how aware he was of them. He was also aware, acutely of how they had shifted into each other so that they touched almost everywhere on one side and James' face had been in his hair for a few minutes now. 

Keith smiled to himself, abandoning his attention to the movie as he let his mouth press to the side of James' throat. A soft gasp and Keith nipped at his next spot just and inch or so higher. He made his way like that to James' ear licking at the shell and nipping lightly before dragging his lips over it as he whispered. 

"James, do you wanna fuck me?" 

James moaned loudly. "Shit Keith...that was so incredibly hot." He turned to kiss him happily, eager. "Of course I want to fuck you. I want it to mean a little more than just fucking though. And it's our first date are you sure you don't want to make me work for it?" 

"Don't worry about that." Keith chuckled "I had planned on asking you to be my boyfriend after this...you made a pretty good impression. You've earned it." he nibbled at James's ear again playfully

"Oh? I did huh? " James chuckled and pulled away from Keith enough to sling himself into Keith's lap. "In that case, sex with my new boyfriend doesn't sound so bad." He ground down against Keith with a soft moan. "I have stuff...but it's in my room. I didn't honestly think we'd get this far." 

Keith laughed and with a grunt lifted his new boyfriend up into his arms. "To the bedroom then." James squeaked and held on tight as Keith carried him in and set him down on the bed before stepping back and stripping off his shirt. James stared in awe for several long moments. Long enough that Keith had a space to laugh. 

"Do you need me to send you some half naked pictures later?" Keith crawled up onto the bed hovering over him. 

"I mean...i'm not going to say no." James laughed and slipped his own shirt off before propping himself up on his elbows to get closer to Keith. 

Keith smirked and James felt his stomach drop and his heartbeat skip. Before he could compose himself again Keith's mouth was back on his. James found himself pinned as Keith dropped his hips and rolled against him. Twin moans seemed loud in the otherwise silent room but neither of them were in a position to mind anymore. 

James wrapped his arms up around Keith's shoulders and held on tightly as Keith rolled and ground against him. Their kisses devolved into gasping against eachothers mouths and James eagerly slid a hand between them to pop the button open on his suddenly constricting jeans. 

"Mmmh, off....off...now." Keith moaned into his mouth and started tugging the jeans down as James' hand moved on to Keith's jeans instead. 

"Fuck," Keith moaned again as he rid them both of the rest of their clothes. "Where's the lube at James? And condoms?" 

"Drawer....behind you." He panted out as if he'd been running a marathon. Actual sex might kill him if he's breathing hard just from this. Keith chuckled to himself and retrieved what they needed. 

Several minutes later Keith had stretched himself to a comfortable level and James was waiting, patiently to be told what to do. Keith crawled up over his new boyfriend and kissed him deeply. "You ready?" He smiled as James nodded eagerly. 

"Yes, very very much yes." James grinned and gasped loudly as Keith lined him up with his hole and pressed himself down. There were a few moments of adjusting before Keith lifted himself and sank back down with a moan. "Oh.....fuck Keith..." James groaned and dug his fingers into Keith's hips as he started to set a pace. Keith settled his hands back on James's thighs to give himself leverage and started searching for the perfect angle. 

The room was soon filled with pants and moans as the two of them moved in sync. James clung to him tightly, nearly bruising. 

"James.....mmmhn, I'm close baby."

"Me too....come for me Keith..." He moaned and shifted just enough to nip at Keith's throat. That's what inevitably sent Keith over the edge. 

"James!" He moaned out his boyfriend's name and came hard, his back arching and come splattering across his and James' stomachs. James arched up seconds after unable to hold out after feeling Keith clenching around him. 

The two of them laid there panting for a while before Keith gingerly slid off of James and flopped back onto the bed. James wrapped himself around him and pulled the sheet up over them. 

"We should shower." Keith grumbled as he ran his fingers through James hair. 

"Yeah but it can wait a little longer...I'm enjoying laying here with you." 

Keith's phone rang right at that moment. He frowned and leaned over to grab it his frown shifting into confused as he saw who was calling. 

"Hello?"   
"Keith, hey , sorry I know you're probably still with James." Lance sounded like he'd been crying, it made Keith's heart twist.   
"I am but it's fine, what's wrong?"   
"I uh...can you come get me, from the hospital? "   
"Why are you at the hospital?"  
"Allura....she's sick...I just....can you come, please?"   
"I'll be there soon."


	4. Heavy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, again, I'm not going to lie that'll be a regular thing. But here's the next chapter, it's at least a couple thousand words. Also this is all gonna hurt and suck and get worse before it gets better. Just in case you're hoping for a happy chapter anytime soon. Not beta read so please forgive any mistakes.

"Hey, can you give me a ride to the hospital?" Keith sighed sadly looking at James with a sightly regretful expression. 

"Yeah sure...what's the matter?" 

"That was Lance, he didn't really explain but... it's his girlfriend. He said something about her going to the doctor today." 

"Oh, is she okay?" James started looking for clothes as Keith frowned and tried to locate his as well. 

"I hope so, Allura is a sweetheart." 

"A sweetheart?" James laughed and almost tripped getting into his pants. 

"Yeah and one of the only people I'd ever say that about." Keith chuckled and pulled his shirt over his head. "I'll probably have to do some damage control when I get there so do you mind just dropping me off? I promise I'll call you when I'm home."

"Sure, as long as I get a goodbye kiss when I drop you off." James smiled and stole a small peck between Keith looking for his jeans. 

"I mean, you're my boyfriend i think you're entitled to a goodbye kiss anytime we leave each other." Keith Struggled into his pants and started looking for his socks and shoes. 

"I'll be sure to remember that." James chuckled He handed Keith his shoes and socks that he had moved to the doorway.

Together the two of them got into Jame's car and made the relatively short trip to the hospital.

"Thanks James, I'll call you in a little while okay? Let you know what's going on." Keith got out and leaned in against the open window, 

"No problem baby, go help your friend." Keith grinned and gave him a kiss goodbye before walking into the too bright doorway of the hospital.

Inside the hospital Lance was waiting, he spotted Keith just as he walked in. 

"Hey Keith, I was ready to just head out as soon as you got here but..." He sighs "She wants to talk to you, I can't say no to her." 

Keith Pondered over Lance's demeanor and appearance as he lead him back to Allura's room. He was clearly upset with dark circles under his eyes. His eyes themselves were red and clearly sore from tears being rubbed away, His posture was, in a word, defeated. They eventually reached Allura's room and he left Keith at the door.

"She's waiting. I can't go in there again today." He settled against the wall and looked off into another direction as Keith stepped into the hospital room.

"Oh, you're here." Allura smiled at him, just as bright as ever as he stepped in and closed the door. She looked small, sitting in the hospital bed with a baby pink blanket that was clearly from home. "Lance is very upset right now as I'm sure you know. I asked him to have someone come get him since he keeps breaking down as soon as he's alone. I don't want him having a car accident because he's upset." She threw a glance over to the door where she seemingly knew Lance was waiting. 

"So, what did you want me for?" Keith asked as gently as he could. He and Allura were tentative friends now but still, her asking for him without Lance was weird. 

"Well, I don't know how much Lance told you but i'm not going to last long." She sighed sadly "This isn't the first time i've had this and, i'm tired of fighting. This time i'm not doing Chemo, I'm not going through all of this again. I've denied treatment. Lance is....angry with me." 

"I understand...both sides I think..." Keith's brain was reeling, no wonder Lance was so upset. 

"I need you to take care of him Keith....he...he trusts you, still cares about you, loves you even." Keith nervously looked down at the floor. Something he wanted to hear but not in this context. "I need you to promise me that when i'm gone he's not going to do something stupid. I need him to be okay." 

"How do you expect me to take care of him when i've just now figured out how to take care of myself?" Keith is short and blunt, he cant take the pressure of Allura's confidence in him. 

"Because you love him, and i know you'll be able to see the signs before it's too late." She says, fighting his blunt with her own. "Please Keith, he's going to need you." 

"I can't...i'm sorry but I can't promise you that Allura." Keith sighs. "Look i know....Just give me some time to process this okay?" 

"Of course." She looks tired and for a moment Keith wants to promise just to put her mind at ease even if he can't keep that promise. He dosent though knowing that he'd hate himself for it later. 

"I'll come back and see you soon, i'll give you my number, here." He holds out a hand and Allura hands him her phone with the new contact tab already open. Keith puts in his number and then awkwardly stands aside. "I uh...I guess i'll take Lance home now. I'll see you later Allura." And with that he flees the hospital room and finds himself face to face with his next problem, Lance. 

~.~.~.~

Lance seemed fine, as fine as one could be upon finding out your girlfriend was dying. Keith drove silently knowing Lance well enough to know that if he wanted to talk he would. They approached Lance's apartment and Keith easily found a parking spot. 

"Lance?" Lance was still staring out the window on the other side but now they they had stopped Keith could see the shake in his shoulders, Lance was crying, silently but crying. Keith sighed and carefully reached over to grip his shoulder. "Lance..." 

"Sorry," Lance gasped out his silence finally breaking. 

"Hey, no...it's okay." Keith sighs again. "Come here." He pulls Lance into as good a hug as he can manage over the car's center console and nearly jumps in surprise when Lance clambers over into his lap instead clinging to Keith with everything he has and bawling into his t shirt." 

"Lance, i'm so sorry Lance." Keith reached up and pets his hair his other hand holding him as tightly as he could. After a few minutes Lance seemed to calm down a little more and Keith got him to at least go into the apartment, the one he shared with Allura, fuck. 

"Do you uh...have a way to get your car?" Keith asks as Lance makes himself a drink, a heavily alcoholic drink. 

"Yeah, Alfor is having someone bring it by in the morning." Lance croaks, his voice is wrecked from crying. 

"Do you...need me to stay? Do you want me to leave? I'll help however I can." Keith frowns as Lance flops unceremoniously into the couch. 

"I don't care, I plan on drinking till I black out anyway." Lance's face hurts to look at so Keith dosen't 

"Look you can't just....thats not going to make you feel any better. I know better than anyone." 

"Booze isn't the same as pills Keith." Lance scoffs "Or Acid or meth or whatever else you've done." 

Keith grits his teeth, Lance is picking at sore spots cause he's hurting. 

"It is actually, just as bad if not worse when you use it like that." Keith sighs and thinks about just leaving him to wallow in a drunken mess but then he thinks back to what Allura asked of him in the hospital. She knew Lance was not going to handle this well, that he'd do something like drink it away. 

"I'll stay with you tonight....or any time you need me to. The least I can do is be here for you." Keith shrugs back into his jacket, he'd left it laying across the arm of the couch. "I'm going to run home really quick and get some things, I'll be back in ten minutes tops, just sit there and drink your booze okay." 

Lance nods and waves him off and Keith slides out the door and get a change of clothes. 

Keith calls James on the way and explains whats going on. 

"That's....awful." James sighs "I've met Allura once or twice, just in passing, I knew she was Lance's girlfriend but that was about it." 

"Yeah, they have an apartment together and everything, I can't imagine how he's gonna keep living there. I wouldn't be able to, She's everywhere in that place." Keith pulls into his place and starts grabbing himself things like pajamas and a change of clothes as he continues to talk to James. His boyfriend wishes him luck with the inevitably drunk Lance and they hang up after an exchange of kissing sounds and promises to at least call each other tomorrow. Keith makes it back to Lance's and easily climbs up to the apartment he knocks on the door and doesn't hear anything for a long moment so he tries the knob, it's locked. 

"Asshole," Keith mutters under his breath. After pausing to think for a moment he pulls out his phone where he and Allura had exchanged numbers. He dials and waits, she answers quickly. 

"Hello, Keith, is everything alright?" 

"Yeah, asshole locked me out of the apartment when i went to get a change of clothes, you got a spare key hidden somewhere?" Keith grumbled, Lance owes him breakfast for this shit. 

"Yes, there's a hideaway rock in the plant by the door. It's half buried in the mulch." She sounds less worried than when she answered. 

"Okay i've got the key, thanks." Keith tries to sound happier instead of pissed as he fishes the key out of the rock. 

"Thank you Keith." She says it so peacefully and serene. "Don't let him drink all night, make him at least try to sleep." 

"I will," he pauses, calculating. "You knew he was going to try and drink it away." 

"Yes, sadly, that' what happened when his mother got sick last year. She pulled through fine thankfully but when Lance heard she was sick and needed surgery he immediately went for a bottle." 

Keith scoffed into the phone. "Figures, little asshole." he sighs and he can almost feel Allura's small sad smile. "Okay well, i'll take care of this. YOu get whatever rest you can okay?" 

"I will, goodnight Keith." 

"Night." He hangs up and shoves his phone into his back pocket before using the key to unlock the door. As soon as he steps inside he hears it. Lance is crying again, but this time it's the huge heaving sobs that you can feel the heartbreak in. Keith pauses at the door and shuts it quietly. He sets his things down on the couch and goes to grab a glass of water before treading into the bedroom where Lance's sobs are originating. 

He doesn't bother knocking or trying to announce his presence, Lance wouldn't hear him anyway. Instead he grabs the Tylenol off the desk and takes it and the glass of water to the night stand. He sets them down and carefully climbs up onto the bed where Lance is curled up into as tight a ball as his long and lanky body will allow. Keith pulls him close and he feels Lance slowly start to unravel his arms sliding around Keith instead of his own knees. Keith holds him tight, knowing how it feels to want to be held together, Shiro has done this for him countless times. Keith holds him tight and when he's calmed enough he still doesnt speak. He wordlessly hands Lance some meds and the bottle of water. While he's taking them he slips into the en-suite bathroom and grabs a warm rag to wipe down lance's face. Once he's done he tosses the rag in the laundry hamper and steps out to get his change of clothes. 

He comes back into the room just as Lance is pulling on a clean tank top and he moves around him to start messing with the bed. 

"Lay down, get some sleep." Keith whispers. 

"I can't....it smells like her." Lance frowns. "This whole place smells like her, looks like her, it IS her and i can't....she might not ever come home again." The tears start anew and Keith cant help but feel a tug at his own heart listening to Lance so obviously broken. 

"Maybe the couch? Would that be better? Or the guest room?" He keeps his words soft, gentle, as non confrontational as possible. 

"Yeah....I'll try the couch." Lance shuffles out that direction and Keith follows turning out lights. Lance lies on the couch and Keith makes sure he's settled before tuning the tv on to some random anime and settling into the recliner. 

"Wake me up if you can't sleep, or if you need to cry again. That's why i'm here okay?" 

"You're not mad that i locked you out?" 

"I'm pissed sure but...you're in pain so i'm willing to overlook your stupidity this one time." 

"Hey..." Lance whined but settled a little more into the couch. That last thing Keith hears from him before passing out is a very small and quiet. "Thanks Keith"


End file.
